tell me a secret
One time during class my drama/english teacher, who’s a devout vegan and all about not killing animals, accidentally stepped on a ladybug. He froze up and slowly cradles it in his hand and he was so heartbroken and started quoting Hamlet.
I didn’t have the heart to tell him that it was a red m&m.
I can’t breathe
When you put on your favorite movie for someone and you’re really excited for them to watch it for the first time AND THEY DON’T EVEN PAY ATTENTION TO IT
PotterFacts 7/404 | The Chamber of Secrets
"Gilderoy Lockhart is the only Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher to have no connection at all to Voldemort."
That’s because even Voldemort has a certain demand for skill and competence
that was the sickest burn i have ever seen
do you think when fish get thrown back by fishermen, they swim around yelling about alien abductions and the other fish stop talking to them?
Much beauty, so handsome, wow.
You can’t go to the pharmacy without someone saying, “Hey, you’re the girl from Harry Potter!” and I’m like “Yeah! Just buying tampons, see you in a bit!”
Kendra Wells (via belle-de-nuit)
I can’t even fucking count how many times this has happened to me.
the fact that teachers actually expect you to do homework is annoying
As a demon…..
Harry Potter au where Harry didn’t lose being a parsletongue and Albus buys a snake as a pet one year because snakes are cool and one day just walks in on Harry and the snake having a deep conversation
Albus is 17 and loses his virginity in his room and forgets the snake talks to his dad and when Harry gets home the snake is all like OH MY GOSH YOU’D NEVER GUESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS WHAT HAPPENED
I wanna take you for all that you got
Deadpool being heterosexual ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
- You fantasize about how you would kill me. Tell me, how would you do it?
- With my bare hands.
do you ever get cuddle frustrated? Not sexually frustrated, but just get really frustrated and asdfghklg because you’re not cuddling someone right now and you just really need to feel someone with their arms around you and bury your face in their neck and just feel them close